Exploring My Childhood Patterns through Pet Relationships

I got curious today about something from my past and wondered how it might be connected to my own patterns and how it might be connected to how I behave today…

So, to start off, we had a dog when I was younger that happened to be a stray. When we first got him, I used to fold up my spare sleeping bag and lay it on the floor in my room so that he would sleep in my room. Over time, he ended up constantly following me everywhere and I always got annoyed by it and I just have this memory in my head of my mom telling me to “be more compassionate.”

I was curious why this occurred so I brought my curiosity over to chatGPT and here’s what it told me (I like to be transparent about using AI because I see it as a tool for self-reflection since it is good at recognizing patterns):

“From what you described, it sounds like younger-you started with this deep excitement and openess toward connection (wanting him to be in your room, making him a little “bed” space), but over time maybe you felt your space, energy, or comfort being invaded… and instead of knowing how to balance closeness with boundaries, you reacted by pushing away.”

It also added:

“Your mom telling you that you “needed more compassion” might’ve been well intended, but it could have planted a subtle seed that wanting space somehow equals being unkind… which can be tricky. That type of messaging often makes people second-guess their own needs in relationships.”

After it’s whole spiel about why I may have acted that way as a child, I also remembered I had a cat too, and with my cat I always wanted him to sleep next to me, and normally if I was crying he would actively try to comfort me then. So chatGPT then compared the two situations for me and why this may have been the case…

Here’s what else it said:

The Dog: Likely more persistent, more “all in your space,” maybe harder to ignore or gently disengage from. Dogs tend to follow and stay until you actively push them away. If you were a kid who valued having control over your space, that might have felt overwhelming at the time.

The Cat: More subtle, more on your terms. Cats tend to give affection in smaller bursts, with a bit more autonomy. When you were sad, the cat came to you in a moment of need, which felt intentional and soothing, not constant.

It also added:

“When your mom told you “you need more compassion” about the dog, it might have actually been missing the bigger truth: you already had compassion, but you had a natural preference for relationships that were mutual and balanced in energy exchange. The dog’s constant presence may have felt like a one-sided demand in your energy. The cat’s love on the other hand, matched your peace, and felt good.”

Now, after all this, I asked chatGPT if there was any truth behind why people always ask whether they are a dog vs cat person. And here’s what it says about these patterns:

Personality Traits & Temperment:

• Dog people (on average) tend to be more extroverted, social, and enjoy routine interaction. Dogs thrive on constant companionship, which aligns with these traits.
• Cat people (on average) tend to be more introverted, independent, and comfortable with ambiguity. Cats require reading subtle cues and respecting autonomy, which resonates with these personalities.

But here’s the nuance: This isn’t about shy vs outgoing. It’s about whether your nervous sytem feels safe with constant interaction (dog) or intermittent, choice-based connection (cat).

Control & Autonomy Needs

• People who value autonomy and don’t want to be “needed” 24/7 often click better with cats, because cats respect that ebb and flow.
• People who enjoy being needed and get fullfillment from active caretaking often connect more with dogs, because dogs mirror that energy back non-stop.

Nervous System Wiring

If you have a lower tolerance for constant sensory or emotional stimulation, you’ll naturally feel more drained by dog-like personalities. This can come from:

• Growing up in a chaotic household where you didn’t get enough space.
• Being a deep processor who needs downtime to recharge.
• Simply having a nervous system that thrives on calm, not constant motion.

Early Relationship Models

Your childhood relationships set a template.

• If love often came in bursts (affection, then space), you might find cats’ rhythms familiar and comforting.
• If love was consistent and present all the time, you may lean toward dogs because that feels like “home” to your attachment style.

Emotional Safety & Boundaries

Some people unconsciously prefer the animal that mirrors the kind of relationships they find safest:

• Cats = relationships where your autonomy is honored.
• Dogs = relationships where closeness is constant and reassurance is frequent.

Now, keep in mind chatGPT isn’t always right about things, and although there are some studies on cat vs dog people and traits they tend to carry, this theory still has holes.

Here’s exactly where it has holes:

• Not all dogs are “dog energy” and not all cats are “cat energy.” Some cats are clingy, some dogs are independent.
• Our childhood memories are filtered through our adult perspective, so I might be attaching meaning now that I couldn’t understand back then.
• Sometimes our preferencess are shaped by familiarity, not deep personality wiring.
• Life context matters, and maybe my dog’s persistence felt overwhelming because of other things going on in my life at that time, while my cat’s affection lined up with moments I needed comfort the most.

So, is it a perfect science? No. But it’s a fun way to think about how we connect with others, and maybe a helpful mirror for noticing what kinds of closeness feels good for us now. For me, I think I’ve always thrived in the rhythm of connection > space > connection, instead of constant closeness.

Now I’m curious… which one feels most like you? Cat or dog?

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