This is something I don’t talk about a lot, but I feel like it’s important to share with you. Once upon a time, I had a YouTube channel that I grew to over 357 subscribers in just 3 months.
For full transparency, I had the channel since 2011, years later I posted videos here and there pertaining to motherhood, my pet rats, and pregnancy. Then, one day I decided to actually go all in and stay consistent with my posts. I started uploading videos in the minimalism niche, and I had about 50 subscribers already by the time I started focusing on one niche. I stayed consistent week after week, and guess what? My channel grew.
In those 3 months, my channel gained over 300 subscribers and I reached over 200k lifetime views. I could feel the momentum building, and honestly? Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had stuck with it.
But the truth is that I didn’t stick with it. And the reason why has nothing to do with the algorithm, the niche, or YouTube itself.
The Fear that Silenced Me
It wasn’t hate comments that shut me down. In fact, I didn’t receive any hate really. What held me back was the fear of what might be said.
I was afraid people would watch my channel and say:
- “she’s not minimalist enough”
- “She’s too minimalist. Who lives like that?”
Basically, I was bracing myself for judgement that never even came back then. And looking back on it, I realize that fear came from something deeper:
I wanted everything around me to look “perfect” because inside, I was struggling deeply with myself.
The Label that didn’t Fit
The word “minimalist” started to feel like a box I had locked myself into.
Sure, I loved simplifying my life. I loved decluttering and not owning excess of things. But the label itself? It started to feel heavy. The moment I called myself a “minimalist,” I gave people permission to decide whether I was living up to their personal definition of what a minimalist should be.
And I hated that.
I didn’t want strangers on the internet or even people in my personal life holding up a measuring stick against the choices I made in my life. So eventually, I just… stopped.
What I Learned from Walking Away
At first, quitting felt like another failure in my life. I had proof that consistency could grow a channel. I had an audience starting to form. But the lessons I carried with me from that time were worth more than a subscriber count. These are the things I learned from that experience:
- Consistency works even if it’s not daily. Just a consistent schedule of showing up for three months was all it took for my channel to start growing. Proof that effort compounds.
- Labels do not define you. I don’t need to call myself a minimalist to enjoy a simple life. Although perhaps the algorithm really thrives on labels for keywords, so it puts you in a tricky position.
- Fear of judgement is louder than actual judgement. Most of the criticism I worried about never even happened to me.
- It’s okay to pivot. Walking away is what ultimately gave me space to realign and eventually reflect more and figure out what I actually wanted to do.
Where I’m at Now
Today, I still don’t label myself as a minimalist. But I do keep my life simplified, because it feels good.
And instead of wondering if I fit into a box, I’m building something that actually feels like me. I’m creating from a place of alignment, not fear.
That’s why I’m so excited about starting a new YouTube channel with fresh eyes and new perspective. For full transparency again, I started this current channel months ago and have posted a bit, but I was more focused on Instagram at the time… but now I’m ready to focus on YouTube again and this time around, I’m not here to be perfect. I’m just here to be real with you. And I’m not going to let fear of judgement hold me back from building something sustainable for myself.
A Little Reflection
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had stuck with that other YouTube channel. Maybe it would have blown up. Maybe it wouldnt have. But I am glad I stepped away when I did, because it gave me more clarity.
It taught me that I don’t have to be defined by a label or boxed into something that doesn’t feel authentic.
And honestly? That feels like FREEDOM.
Now, I want to hear from you: have you ever quit something because the label or expectations no longer felt right? And if you had the chance, would you start again with a whole new perspective?
Before you go, be sure to checkout my current YouTube channel where I plan to document my journey with blogging, Pinterest and show other things like digital product creation and AI. Subscribe to my channel here.
Confidently Chaotic 
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